The last few weeks have been such a learning process. I am not really sure what I thought motherhood meant. I had read many many mommy blogs, read lots of parenthood/pregnancy books (I even own Parenting for Dummies), but never did I realize what being a mother was going to be like. I am not sure even if I would have "rented" a child from my friends would have prepared me for the experience that awaited me once Kai joined our family. It truely is unconditional love.
I thought alot about what unconditional love meant the other night as I snuggled with my baby on my lap at 2:00 AM trying to get him to fall asleep.
I had heard this idea of unconditional love.
I thought I had that kind of love for Brian but I was wrong.
If Brian for some reason cheated on me or abused me (not that he ever would) but if he did- It would be hard to still love him- but I can't imagine Kai doing anything that would cause me to "un-love" him. He is my child and I love him despite anything that he does or could do.
Some moments where I knew I have crossed over to "mommyhood"
The other day the hubbs went to change Kai's diaper. He immediately came out to the living room and said "I can't do it... you will need to do this one". I went to the room to see Kai laying on the changing table with this totally content look on his face, a diaper half hanging off his butt, and there I am looking at his poo trying to figure out what I ate to cause such a commotion in his pants... only a mother could do that.
I have given a spit bath- I used to hate it when my mother would lick her thumb and rub it on my face (especially in public)-- I am totally guilty of it.
I always feed him first. I love to eat and for me to sacrifice my belly gurgling is a true sign of love.
Sometimes when he is totally content sleeping in his bed, I find myself going in and picking him up just so I can cuddle with him a little bit more before I retire to bed.
I love this opportunity to be a mom. I love the learning experience and feel so blessed that Heavenly Father has given us this opportunity.
who could resist this face anyways...