oh blah dee...oh blah dah... life goes on

I can honestly say this has been a couple weeks of ups and downs. The hubbs and I have been trying to concieve for over a year and as you probably know we have struggled with that. Infertility is a rollercoaster of emotions. Last Monday (the day after my birthday) I found out that I was pregnant. After taking 5 positive  prego tests, I thought it was safe to tell the family and start accepting the realization that I was going to have a baby. I struggled with that. I had a wall built up a little with my doubt. I was excited, I was nervous, I was scared and even moreso I was filled with so many emotions (dang hormones). It was only a couple days later that I realized, I don't think this is normal. After a bazillion google searches and calling the doctor a couple times, I realized that what was happening was not normal. I was cramping bad and bleeding alot. Blood tests confirmed, I actually was having an early miscarriage. I had felt really calm about it. I realized how fragile life is. I realized that we can get pregnant... which is a blessing. I realized that I want to make sure I have a healthy body so I can be ready to be pregnant again. I realized once again that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and knows what he is doing. I realized even more so that my husband is the most amazing person. He really is my ROCK. He would wrap me up in his arms and love on me during this process. I realized that I am BEYOND BLESSED and I know that we will have this opportunity again.